Could ths puppy be any cutier?

The New Parenting Style for 2009

Time to meet "Lucy"

Here is our new puppy Lucy. She is a 15 week old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. I have been wanting a new puppy for a while and was a little shy with what happened with Muttley. (See previous post back in June.) I am hoping that William and Lucy grow up to be best friends. So far he isn't too sure about Lucy. He laughs when she licks him but is afraid when she goes up to him. I think in they will get used to each other soon. So far, Lucy is a very good puppy. She is such a cuddler. She likes to be on our laps instead of playing. In fact, she is on my lap as I type this post! So far, I am thinking she is a good fit. I have had puppies a couple times before and had given them back to the breeder withing a day or too, but I think that was because it was when I had Dusty and she didn't get along with other dogs at all. Last night Lucy did very well in her kennel and only cried a little bit. With a little soothing from me, she went to sleep. She only woke us up once to go out to go potty, and she did what she needed to do. Here are a few pictures. After over a year of being dogless, we have a dog again!! YEA!!

Christmas 2008

We had a wonderful Christmas again this year. I was a little nervous about being sad on Christmas because of our loss, but it was a very nice day. My little William loved the toy he got from Santa - a toy kitchen. He started to really understand "opening" presents this year. He of course got very spoiled from Mom and Dad, Grandmas and Grandpas, and Aunts and Uncles. This child may be the most loved child in the world (even though some of you may beg to differ!) ;-) Here are some pictures...

"Oh Boy!! Look at what Santa left me!!"

"Is this all for me?"

"Can I cook you some breakfast?"



"Whoa, you mean there are presents in here too?"

"I'm such a big boy on this trike with my helmet."

"I love my Aquadoodle from Grandma and Grandpa."

"This Star Wars tent is sooo much fun!"

"I love to spend time with my Great-Grandpa!"

"Especially when he lets me play with his remote contral skunk!"



"Grandma and Grandpa help me open presents too!"

"I love the trike Uncle John got me. Even the day after Christmas!"

To my unborn child

I never held you in my arms.
You didn't have a name.
I didn't get to know you,
And I loved you just the same.

I never knew your laughter,
I never heard you cry
And yet, we shared my body;
together, You and I

And in those brief, but precious days,
My little girl or boy;
You brought me so much happiness,
My cheeks felt tears of joy.

For I knew that His wisdom,
Our father up above,
Saw fit to bless our family with you;
His beautiful gift of love.

Feeling down today

I thought I had been doing better about things, but today I am just feeling down. I feel like crying, and I am just so tired of crying. I realize it has only been 10 days since I found out I miscarried and only a week since my D&C, but I guess I thought I'd be handling things better than I am. I have used all my sick days for the school year between missing days for the D&C, dr's appointments, and my 3 days off when I had strep throat. I really would like to take a mental day tomorrow, but it will cost me $250! We can't afford that. It is hard to teach when I am so sad. Some of my students asked what was wrong, and I told them I just wasn't feeling well. I don't want to be sad anymore.

It is done.

Finally, I can move on and get this terrible time behind me. Here is the full story. We got to the hospital at 7:30am. They signed me in and took me up to a room to get me ready for the surgery and everything. While I was waiting a nice lady came in and asked me if I wanted a back massage to help relax me! Um --- OK!! It was a very nice massage and she even gave one to my Mom who was waiting with me. Benjamin didn't want one. I needed that relaxing massage because the nurses were having trouble getting in my IV and ended up poking me 3 times to get it in! Ouch! It wasn't too much longer and they wheeled me down (after giving me some pepcid and some anti-nausea stuff). Ben and Mom came with me as they wheeled me to the surgery room. There were 3 of us kinda waiting, so we ended up waiting about 30 minutes there. At 9:30 they were ready to go, I gave kisses goodbye, and was moved to the actual surgical room. I moved over to the bed and don't remember a thing. I woke up in the recovery room and was feeling just out of it. Not too bad, not much pain, just cold, but that has happened with every surgery I have ever had. I wasn't vomiting at all and just had some mild nausea, but they gave me some zofran and I felt better. After about 1/2 hour or so, I went back to the area where I had be waiting earlier. Ben and Mom were waiting for me, and Ben had flowers in hand. What a hubby! And purple to boot! We got up to the room; it was nice as it had a view - it had started snowing by then. Very pretty. I was pretty groggy and it took a good hour or so before I started to feel like myself a little. Finally, I started feeling better, got up, went to the bathroom, and then got dressed. By then, I was ready to go home. It was nice having the hospital so close to home. My other surgeries were an hour ride away. I've been taking it easy, feeling pretty good, and still not in much pain. I am still kinda sleepy, but am feeling better than I thought I would. It is done. I can more on, but I am really sad. This is now the end. I am no longer pregnant. It sucks!

Surgery tomorrow

I found out today that my D&C will be tomorrow instead of Friday. I think I am kinda glad to just get it done, but now I have to take 2 more days off of work. I have missed so much work that I am going to be out of days! That means I have had 12 days off since September! I hope I will be nice and healthy the rest of the year and won't have to miss anymore! I spent the afternoon at the hospital getting all the pre-admitting stuff done. I'm glad Benjamin came with me. We checked-in, got some lab work done, talked to the nurse who gave me all the instructions, met with an anesthesiologist, and then went over to my OB's office. She talked to me about the procedure, all the things that could happen (oh, that makes me feel good!) and had me sign a consent form. My surgery is going to be about 9:30 am and I have to be there 2 hours early. I can't eat after midnight and no drinking water after 3am. I am so nervous! I guess everyone who is going to have surgery gets nervous. I will be glad to get it all over with tomorrow! The OB said she would give me a whole 2 weeks off work if I wanted it. If I had the days I'd take it, but oh well. That would just give me lots of time to think of things and get even sadder. At least I can get back to normal life soon!

Sad, sad news

We have had a really tough day today. Today I found out that I have had a miscarriage. We knew things were not looking good (see previous post), so I went back today for another ultrasound, when the Dr showed us the screen, I knew at that moment it was over. Nothing had changed. The baby hadn't grown at all and this time there wasn't even a flicker. No heartbeat at all. It was soooo hard to look at that poor little baby knowing that he/she would not be born. It tore me up inside. The Dr said we could have a natural miscarriage or have a surgical procedure called a D&C. I decided to do the D&C. A lot of women who miscarry naturally have complications and end up needing a D&C anyway. Also, this way I don't have to wait and wait and not know when it is going to happen, and not have to worry about it happening during school. I'm just so heart broken right now. I think one of the hardest things is having to "un"tell everyone about being pregnant. I know miscarriages happen, but there is something surreal about it happening to me. I thought having to go through infertility was bad enough, but now to add this to the list is just almost too much for me to take right now. There has been one thing that has really helped me this evening ~ my little boy. When Benjamin and I came home from the dr, I was very upset and crying. William was home with my Mom, and when we walked in he knew something was wrong. He came up to me and gave me a hug, and I can't tell you how much better that made me feel. I know I have the best little boy in the world and thank the Lord above for sending him to me. I just wish I could have given him a brother or a sister. Will we try to have another baby? Maybe. But, I don't know if I will be able to go through this again.

Could use some prayers!

Well, I had my first Dr's appointment on Thursday. I also got my first ultrasound at that appointment. Unfortunately, the baby is not measuring at the correct size. When I went in I was 7 weeks 2 days and the baby was only measuring 6 weeks 1 day. There wasn't a steady heartbeat, but a little flicker - which would be normal for a baby 6w1d but not normal for a baby 7w2d. So, there are 2 things that can happen. #1: Things are fine and the baby just implanted late or I ovulated late. or #2: There is something wrong with the baby and I will have a miscarriage. I am really really hoping for option #1. I really do believe they just have my dates wrong because my blood tests started off so low. That would go with having the baby implant later - which makes total sense to me. I have another ultrasound on Dec 3rd, so we are just in a holding pattern until then. That ultrasound will give us a better idea about what is going on. I'd like to go in earlier, but Benjamin and I are going to be in Las Vegas Monday - Thursday and their office is closed Friday. I'll just have to be patient and pray extra hard that this little one sticks around. As for the other happenings of the family, things are going well. The painters have finished the house and it looks great! We are having carpet cleaners over today, and when they are done will will be all ready to move in. Benjamin is going to pick up the appliances we bought (a new fridge, dishwasher, and washer & dryer). Yes, we kinda went appliance-gaga, but they had some GREAT sales at Sears! I am really excited for our trip to Vegas. I think it will be nice to have some alone time with Benjamin, but I have to admit that I am going to miss my William like crazy!! I think it will be nice for my parents to spend some time with him to since we are going to be moving out. Well, I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. We have a lot to be Thankful for this year as every year. Hugs and Kisses to all our family and friends who live away. You are in our thoughts. Remember to say a little prayer for our little baby so he/she can continue to grow and get a strong heartbeat.

Ended up doing retakes at Sears

And I am much happier with these this time around. We got some great pictures this time and the lady was really nice. She even gave us a free 10x13 for our trouble. Here are a few good ones...

Upset with Sears Portraits!

Today we went to Sears to get our Christmas photo. We have had great experiences there, until today that is. It started off that they were behind. Their first appointment is a 10am and our appointment was at 10:30am, and we had to wait 45 minutes with a 20 month old!! How in the heck could they be 45 minutes behind so early? So, we kind stroll around the store a bit until they are ready for us. When I made the appointment, I knew it was close to William's nap time, but I figured it would be ok, but I didn't factor in a 45 minute wait. William was getting fussier and fussier. It was so fun! Ok, we finally get in and start the session. The girl was very nice, but seemed inexperienced. The whole session only took 10 minutes. Nothing creative, but at least William was his happy self, and she got him to smile. We leave and let William play in the mall play area while they get the photos ready for us to see. When we got there, they were even more behind because one of their cameras went out, so there were people everywhere. There was no associate to go over the pictures with us. One said, "Go through the pictures with the arrow keys and let me know when you are ready" and then worked on someone else's order. Um, ok. When we started looking through the the pictures, I was SO disappointed. There were only 3 of the family, and one I had a stupid look, one William wasn't looking at the camera, and the last one Benjamin was WAY taller than I was - well, he is in real life, but she should have had me stand on a block or something. There were 2 good ones of William, but that is it! Only 9 total shots; 7 crappy ones and 2 cute ones. We all got new outfits that probably cost us $150. What a waste of time and money getting the new outfits! Why did I spend all morning ironing Benjamin's shirt and going to the mall Thursday getting me a new outfit when the ones with us in it were terrible? I wanted to have a picture of all "4" of us and say something cute in the Christmas card about the new baby, but we ended up just getting wallets of William to stick in our Christmas card. I am so upset! I am on the verge of tears. I guess I could just be hormonal! We spent $60 and settled for something I didn't even want. This stinks!! On the bright side, the picture we ordered of William is really cute. I just want to cry!!

Ut oh - Morning Sickness has struck!

Yep, that nasty horrible morning sickness has finally caught up to me. I was hoping that I might miss it this time around, but I guess not. In fact, I even stayed home from work today because of it. It started a couple days ago and continues to get worse. Hopefully it won't last too long. Most drs and books say it diminishes as you get closer to the 2nd trimester, and that starts at week 13 (I think). I kinda lucked out last time because I was on summer vacation when I had morning sickness with William. Other than the sickness, I've been feeling pretty good. I still get tired and I am starting to thicken a bit. Of course, it is not the baby since he/she is the size of a sweet pea now; it is all bloating. I know it is bloat because I have lost 3 pounds since getting pg. I might need to find my maternity clothes sooner than I would like. My appointment with my new OB is next Thursday, and we should be getting pictures of the baby via an ultrasound. I will try to post those as soon as I can! Oh, and I had another blood draw on Wednesday and my number was GREAT! It was over 5,000 and we were hoping for it to be at least 3,000. The Dr's machine tops out at 5,000, so they aren't even sure how high it is. I am soooo relieved!

The rest of the family is doing well. William is just a sweetie. Yesterday, I got him some new shoes that light up, and boy does he like them. He marches instead of walks just to see the lights go off! Benjamin is doing great too. He still has been working like crazy on the house, and it is looking great! I am getting excited for the move. It is looking like we will move the day after Thanksgiving. Yea!! This weekend we are going to a special sale at Sears and are getting a new refrigerator and dishwasher. I wonder if I can talk Benjamin into getting us a new washer and dryer while we are there!!?? The house is getting painted this week, and I bet it will really make a difference. We also have new light fixtures to put up too. Too bad we can't afford new carpet, but that will be our next project.

Well, I hope all is well with all my readers, and I probably should go eat some crackers now as I am feeling a little more queasy. I guess it was a good idea to stay home today. I would be really hard to work with kids when feeling very yucky!!

Had bloodwork done yesterday

I had another blood draw yesterday to check my pregnancy hormone levels, and they "rose nicely" according to the nurse.

Beta #1 (10/28) =9
Beta #2 (10/31) =48
Beta #3 (11/5) =457

My first level was 9, my second level was 48, and yesterday's level was 457! They want me to go back next Wednesday, and I am hoping it will be over 1000! I have my first appointment with my OB on Nov 20, and we will be having our first ultrasound. I am really excited. We should be able to see a little blob with a heartbeat! Yea!!!! 2 weeks of waiting for my appointment is going to be a big test of my patience. I've been feeling pretty well. I haven't had any morning sickness yet (maybe a tiny little bit on and off), but I am hungry all the time and VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY tired. I know fatigue is part of pregnancy, but I don't remember it being this hard when I was pregnant with William. I am even yawning as I type. Is 7:30pm too early to go to bed?

My little William turned 20 months old yesterday. He is just blossoming. He is talking a lot more. Some of his words now are... Dada, Mama, Grandpa (pop pop), hat, banana (nana), hot, Donald Duck, Triangle, "O" the letter, Garage Door, done, "bye-bye", go, dog, no, "quack", "meow", light, water, bath, spoon, shoe, ball, that, down, up, off, and done. He got his first "Big Brother" t-shirt. He is adjusting to daycare very well, and hasn't even needed his binky at daycare. This is HUGE! He also hasn't cried the last 2 days when I dropped him off at daycare too. He is just so much fun!

Benjamin is working very hard on our house. The day we signed the papers, he started knocking down walls!! He has the wall down between the family room and play room, and the framing where the TV will go almost done. He's got some drywall to hang, and then we will be ready for the massive paint job - every single room. He is such a hard worker. Of course, he thinks that it is pretty suspicious timing of this pregnancy - I don't have to carry any boxes when we move in! What can I say? It is God's timing! ;-)

I'm so tired!

Oh my goodness, I am so utterly tired today. I think it is being pregnant and also having a toddler who was up at 3:00am for the last 2 nights. I'm not sure why he is waking up, but after about a half hour or so he will go back to sleep, but mommy can't seem to get back to sleep at all. The last time he went through a wakeful period like this he was getting some teeth, so I am wondering if a couple more are trying to pop through. I really hope he sleeps tonight. I don't know if I'll be able to function tomorrow otherwise.

This was soooo me at Walgreens!!

HeHeHe

Our story...

Here is the story...
On Monday Oct 27, I had talked to the nurse at our fertility clinic about our upcoming IVF. (We were planning on trying another IVF cycle in Dec). We talked about how many days I would need to take off of work, when the egg retrieval and transfer might be, and when I would need to go in for appointments. I told her that I was expecting my period any day now, and she told me that as soon as I started to give her a call and I would start birth control (part of the IVF process). Well, after getting the tentative schedule, I realized that I would be having my pregnancy test right after Christmas. I have always tested early with a home pregnancy tests. For our IVF this summer that failed, every time I would try a home pregnancy test and it turned out negative, I only ended up with heart ache. So, I decided that for this IVF I was NOT going to test early and wait until my blood test. I knew I had one digital home pregnancy test left from previous cycles. I didn't want it at home taunting me, so I was going to get rid of it. Tuesday morning I found it and was just going to throw it away. However, being the nerd I am, I could not just throw it away without using it. I figured my period was due any day, so I'd go ahead and use it knowing I would see a -. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw the word "Pregnant"! I couldn't believe my eyes!!! Did it really say pregnant? Was I imagining it? I woke up Benjamin (he didn't even know I was testing: it was 5:30am) and nearly scared him half to death. I told him I was pregnant, and his first response, "No you're not." I responded, "Yes I am, look!" and shoved the test in his face. He could only get out, "Woa!" I then went and knocked on Mom's bedroom door waking her up with the good news. In the mean time, everyone else in the household was running late for work except me (I didn't have to go into work until noon because it was a conference day). At about 7:00am, Mom came down and I asked her to watch William while I ran out to Wallgreen's to get more pregnancy tests. I needed to be for sure. Three boxes of tests and one used one later, I figured this might be the real thing. I called my fertility clinic, and they had me go in for a blood test. My result was positive, but the level was really low: 9.83. So, I was pregnant, but either in danger of having a miscarriage, or just very early pregnant. They had me go in for another beta today, luckily my levels did rise to 48!! WooHoo!!!!! I have continued taking home tests and all have been + still. I guess it is just really hard for me to believe that this happened without any medical intervention. We have already started calling this baby "Our Little Freebie!!" My guess is my due date is July 8, 2009. I'm sure it will change at our first ultrasound appointment.

Holy Moly - I'm PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some exciting news

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Mommy is sick!

Oh bummer, I'm sick. I knew it probably would happen some time since starting at a new school, but boy has it hit me! I have strep throat! Oh wonderful. I have missed 2 days of school and have to miss another day tomorrow since I haven't been on antibiotics for 24 hours. 3 days in one week! I don't think I have ever missed 3 days for a sickness! Oh well. I just hope I don't share this junk with William and the rest of the family. Waaa. :-(

On the home front, it looks like Benjamin, William, and I have a house. We put in an offer on a house, went back and forth with the sellers (all 4 of them!) and finally have come to an agreement. We've had the inspection, they's agreed to give us money for the fixes, and I think everything is a go! We are sooo excited. If everything stays as is, then we will officially close on Halloween. Yea!!!

Our trip to the Pumpkin Patch

It was lots of fun. They had pony rides, face painting, and even a corn field maze. We didn't get to it all because it was past William's nap time and lunch time.

William's Hot Dog Dance

One of William's favorite television shows is "Micky Mouse Clubhouse". At the end of every episode is the "Hot Dog" dance. I just had to get his little dance on video. Pay close attention to the middle of the video where he gives me a dirty look.

19 months old

Oh my! How is it possible that my little baby is now 19 months old? William is doing well. He is working on some new words and talking lots more. He is totally attached to his Grandpa. He loves going outside to play, and is adjusting to daycare pretty well. School for me is going very well. I am VERY happy at my new school. Everyone is very welcoming and the principal is wonderful! I only have 4 groups I work with during the day and my largest group is 10 kids. It has been great so far. Next week I will be out to a training for 2 days, so we will see how my groups do with a substitute. Some more good news is we have found a house and put in an offer. We haven't heard whether they have accepted or not, but we will keep you posted. It is neat because it is right across the greenbelt from my parent's house. In fact, you can see the back of "our" house from the kitchen window at Mom and Dad's. All is well in our household.

Some good news!

I am going back to work! Yes, you read that right. I found out about a month ago that the school district wasn't going to allow me to substitute teach. Well, that was a terrible blow for Benjamin and me. Our whole plan was to have me sub a few days a week to still bring in some income, yet have more flexibility than a permanent position. Because the district wasn't letting me sub, we wouldn't have enough income to afford a house - even a much cheaper house than we had! We met with the mortgage lady, and found out based on Benjamin's salary alone we could only qualify for $70,000! I know this will sound snooty, but the houses in that price range are not where I want my son to grow up! So, my options were to #1. Resign from the district and sub, but I would lose all my experience steps (about $20,000 a year) and be probationary when I go back!! #2. End my parental leave and go back to a full position. We decided #2 was a better option, but coming back off of my leave was by no means easy! I had to meet with the "Superintendent of Human Resources" and I found out that no one had ever returned from parental leave after only a month (it is a full year of leave). It was a BIG mess (too long and complicated to include all the details). Anyway, I was finally allowed to interview for open positions. I interviewed several times, but hadn't gotten a job yet. It was a big blow to my ego. Why didn't anyone want me? However, I had an interview yesterday for a resource teacher position for 3rd and 4th grade and got the job! YEA! My first day is Friday! I tell ya, it really gives me a sense of relief. I won't be a "stay at home mom" now, so that is kinda sad, but I think this is going to be a better choice for my family. I have to admit, it was a very hard transition to stay at home. I will personally be happier back at work. We have found a really nice daycare for William (MUCH better than the one we had before). She has an in-home daycare, and I feel William will be much happier there. There are only about 6 kids and a range of ages. It will be Mon and Tues, and then William will be with my Dad on Wed, Thurs, and Fri. What a crazy month this has been. Since I will be back to work, we have decided to build another house. This will make 3 homes we have built in 4 years! Hehehe! I sure hope we will live in this one for more than 2 years!!

William LOVES to take a bath!

Letting all of you in on our secret

Our secret...

For those of you that didn't know, in August, Benjamin and I tried another cycle of IVF to have a second baby. Unfortunately, it didn't work. We used our 2 frozen embryos from the cycle where we got pregnant with William. Even though I am still pretty sad that it didn't work, I am feeling a lot better; not as bitter. I guess time does heal at least some wounds. So, here we are in a holding pattern. I am currently trying to go back to work. I am not allowed to sub while on parental leave, and Benjamin and I can't afford to get a house just on Ben's salary. So, I think the best thing is for me to go back to work. I'm sad I won't be able to stay with William, but part of me is missing some adult interaction anyway. I have a meeting with the HR department tomorrow to see if I can come back. Our plan (if I can go back to work) is to start building a new house. While the house is being built, we will stay with my parents and save the money I make. By the time the house is complete, we should have a good chunk of money, half to pay for some of our IVF (we will try one last time in the summer) and the other half to pay for future maternity leave when the IVF works! I am allowed to take 12 weeks off for maternity, but it is not paid leave. However, another cycle of IVF would be dependent upon good cycle day 3 hormone levels. We had my levels checked back in 2005 (all was normal), but the fertility doctor wants to make sure my levels are still ok. If they aren't, that might explain why our last cycle didn't work and it would also mean no more IVF (we would have to look into adoption for a second child). If I can't go back to work, then I think we will go ahead and do IVF in January and just borrow money from our 401K and then start building in the summer. Who knows? I guess we are in the "Just Wait and See" part of life right now. We didn't want to tell anyone about doing another cycle of IVF because we wanted to surprise everyone with good news. However, that didn't happen. For now, we will just go with the flow and see where God takes us next.

18 months old

The 10 things that I love that William is doing at 18 months...

1. I love that William smiles all the time! (Well, not all the time, but almost!)
2. I love that William is feeding himself more and more with less spills.
3. I love that William knows what happens when Mommy gets his binky and his teddy bear! (nap or bedtime)
4. I love that William will give me a hug and a kiss without even asking for one.
5. I love that William loves books and being read too.
6. I love that William loves to get baths. He squeals whenever I say, "Do you want a bath?"
7. I love that William likes to dance! He is soooo cute!
8. I love that William whispers to me.
9. I love that William is getting more teeth. He looks so grown up.
10. I love that William understands so many things when we talk.

William's first parade

The state fair Kid's Day parade was this Saturday, so we decided to take William. He really enjoyed it (and so did we).

All moved!

Well, I'd have to say we are all moved in here at Mom and Dad's even though there is still some stuff at the house. Benjamin is over there now trying to tie up the loose ends while I am at Mom and Dad's watching the baby. I think after today we should be about 90% done and only have to do some cleaning. I found a home for our fish. They are actually going to my school. That move is happening on Monday, so then we can get rid of the fish tank. Things are going pretty smoothly here. Benjamin and I are getting settled and the baby seems to have made the adjustment easily. It will be nice to be out of our old house for good and concentrate our energy here getting even more settled. William is doing great. I just took him to get next shoes and he wears a size 6! He has gone up a shoe size in 2 months. He next dr's appointment is Sept 5 (I think) and it will be fun to see how much he has grown. I weighed him a few days ago and he is 24 pounds. He is starting to say more. He is growing so fast! Here are a couple pictures of a quick trip to an arcade. They were taken with my phone, so the quality isn't as good.

A Virtual Get-Together

This is a fun slide show of a day in the life of our family - August 4, 2008 to be exact. Enjoy...

Wonderful, Fantastic News!!!!

We sold our house!!!

I can't believe it! We have finally sold our house. We had a second showing on Friday and an offer Saturday. We signed the offer and now just wait while they do the appraisal, inspection, and all the other stuff. We are closing on Aug 22nd. WOW, that is coming fast. What I can't believe is the timing. Since we hadn't sold and my last paycheck is the last week in August, we were starting to get nervous about having a house and no money to pay the mortgage. So, we decided that I would go back to work, keep the house on the market until it sold, and hopefully I'd stay home next year. Guess we don't have to do that now! I had a job interview Thursday and didn't get the job. I was pretty upset I didn't get the job, but now look what happened! If I had gotten the job, then things would have been really complicated! I have another job interview tomorrow, but I will call HR in the morning and tell them I am pulling my application. So, the next few weeks are going to be packing and moving. We are going to move in with my mom and dad until we figure out what kind of home we can afford just on Benjamin's salary. Oh my goodness! This is all so exciting. I get to be a stay at home mom! YEA!!

William is doing great. He has been working on getting a couple more teeth and they are just starting to poke through. I've felt bad for the little guy. He's been really cranky and I know it is from the teeth. Benjamin's mom and dad came for a visit and here are some pictures of their visit.

Just chilling at home...

Lunch at the GoldDust...

William with both sets of grandparents!

A sad day for our house. :-(

We had to put our wonderful cat, Zarbie, to sleep today. He wasn't eating his food, was hiding downstairs, and wasn't even sleeping with us at night. So, Benjamin took Zarbie to the vet and the vet said that Zarbie had FIP. Those of you who don't know what FIP is (I didn't know at all), it is a terrible infectious disease that cats get (not dogs). We have absolutely no idea how he got it since the only way you can get it is from other cats, and Zarbie has never been around any cats since we got him in 05'. He never went outside, ever! He must have gotten it before we even got him, and it stayed dormant until now. It was a hard decision, but there is no cure for FIP and it is a horrible death. The poor kitty was already showing signs of going down hill and there was no sense to make the poor little guy suffer. What really hurts is how much William will miss him. I am glad William is so young that he really won't remember, but he loved that cat. His first word was "cat". He will be greatly missed. Here is a picture I took about a month ago when he was still ok.

Not looking good!

No it is not! We have yet to get an offer on the house so it looks like I might be going back to work next year. We thought we could just refinance the house and take out the equity in cash to use like my salary. Unfortunately, we did not qualify. So, that meant we had to put the house up for sale. It was a tough decision, but it was more important to me to be a SAHM now, and after the baby gets older I would go back to work and we could get a wonderful house again. Well, like I said, the house is still on the market with no offers. My last paycheck is in August, so unless by a miracle the house sells tomorrow (showing at 3:30pm - wish us luck) I probably will have to go back to work. They have already filled my position, so I have to apply for a new one. I guess if I don't get a job I will have to sub. The thought of having to put William back into a daycare breaks my heart (see previous daycare posts to see why), but what can a mom do. He really does love to be around other kids, so if I can find a place I feel good about this time around I think it will make life for me a lot easier. Please oh please just let our house sell tomorrow!!

Is it possible to love this child any more than I already do?

I can't believe how much I love this little boy of mine. Just when I don't think I can love him any more he does something that absolutely melts my heart. Last night, it was just William and me (Benjamin had to work late). I was sitting on the couch, and William was over by the window playing with his blocks. Inside his block wagon was a few little animals from his Noah's Arc toy. He then proceeded to bring me some of the little animals. He would bring them to me, take them back, practically run to his Lego wagon, throw in the animal, and clap for himself. Then, he would take out the animal he had just thrown into the wagon and bring it back to me and start over again. He did this over and over and over for over 30 minutes!!! Just as happy as can be, clapping for himself every single time! I knew if I moved to get the camera he would have stopped, but boy do I wish I could have gotten that moment on video. It is something that I will remember for all time. It was just so precious to watch. I love to see him do more and grow. It is quite amazing! I knew I always wanted to be a mom, but I had no clue how much I would love this little boy. He is a true miracle! Out of all the eggs and embryos we got from our IVF cycle, he was the strongest; the one who stuck around. What an amazing child! I am so lucky I am his mom!

Wordless Wednesday: The bunny in the window.