Thursday, September 18, 2008

Letting all of you in on our secret

Our secret...

For those of you that didn't know, in August, Benjamin and I tried another cycle of IVF to have a second baby. Unfortunately, it didn't work. We used our 2 frozen embryos from the cycle where we got pregnant with William. Even though I am still pretty sad that it didn't work, I am feeling a lot better; not as bitter. I guess time does heal at least some wounds. So, here we are in a holding pattern. I am currently trying to go back to work. I am not allowed to sub while on parental leave, and Benjamin and I can't afford to get a house just on Ben's salary. So, I think the best thing is for me to go back to work. I'm sad I won't be able to stay with William, but part of me is missing some adult interaction anyway. I have a meeting with the HR department tomorrow to see if I can come back. Our plan (if I can go back to work) is to start building a new house. While the house is being built, we will stay with my parents and save the money I make. By the time the house is complete, we should have a good chunk of money, half to pay for some of our IVF (we will try one last time in the summer) and the other half to pay for future maternity leave when the IVF works! I am allowed to take 12 weeks off for maternity, but it is not paid leave. However, another cycle of IVF would be dependent upon good cycle day 3 hormone levels. We had my levels checked back in 2005 (all was normal), but the fertility doctor wants to make sure my levels are still ok. If they aren't, that might explain why our last cycle didn't work and it would also mean no more IVF (we would have to look into adoption for a second child). If I can't go back to work, then I think we will go ahead and do IVF in January and just borrow money from our 401K and then start building in the summer. Who knows? I guess we are in the "Just Wait and See" part of life right now. We didn't want to tell anyone about doing another cycle of IVF because we wanted to surprise everyone with good news. However, that didn't happen. For now, we will just go with the flow and see where God takes us next.

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