Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The end on an era

Yes, it is the end of an era. Tomorrow Benjamin is getting the big "V". I've had such a hard time with him getting it, but I know in my heart we should not have any more kids. That being said, I still kinda wish we could have a 3rd child. What is holding us back? Well, lots of things. First, my age. I am 37 and not really at the best age to have a baby. There are so many genetic issues that come with having babies when you are over 35. Second, I don't think I want to be pregnant again. I have a love/hate relationship with pregnancy. I love so many things about it, like caring for the baby from the inside, feeling the baby move, and the labor/delivery. It is a true miracle!!! However, for both my boys I had preterm labor which I could count on for this another baby, which involves bed rest. I can't really do bed rest with a 4 year old and a 2 year old. Not to mention the morning sickness, heartburn, etc that comes with pregnancy. Third, babies are expensive. We are barely coming back from my maternity leave with Mikey, and if I had another baby, we'd be right back where we were. Having a 3rd would also mean fewer family vacations, fewer presents for birthdays and holidays, and three colleges to pay for not two. It seems weird to base a decision on that, but it is something we really have to think about. Fourth, I'm not sure how I could manage to share my time with three kids. I sometimes have a hard time sharing my time with the two I have and still having a little time for myself. It would be really stressful, which is not good for anyone in this family. There are even more reasons why we should be done with having kids, and I guess I just have to keep telling myself them, because I am still wanting another kid. But, I guess after tomorrow, we won't really have a choice. Things would be different if I was younger and we were rich. But, for now and forever, we will be a family of 4. And, when I think about it, I've really had 3 kids. I just had one taken from me too early. So, it is the end of an era in our house. No more bottles, burping clothes, swaddling, crawling, rolling, baby food, and all things baby. ::Sniff:: I will forever miss my boys as babies. They grow up too fast.

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